


(un)muted

by mewtophia



Series: destabilized [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hospitalization, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Mentioned Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Mentioned Sylvain Jose Gautier, Minor Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Panic Attacks, Selective Mute Claude von Riegan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28188537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mewtophia/pseuds/mewtophia
Summary: He doesn’t remember what happened that night, he only remembers being jumped.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Series: destabilized [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024528
Comments: 1
Kudos: 36





	(un)muted

**Author's Note:**

> sequel to muted! haha sorry for taking a while. btw, i’m still trying to find a way to write panic attacks and such. some inaccuracies so you can gladly scream at me in the comments for how inaccurate i am :))

**January 5**

“I think… I’m feeling okay? I’m… not sure.”

“Oh? That’s great! Did something happen?”

Dimitri looks at the side, thinking about the events that happened during December, smiling at himself. His mind immediately went to Claude, his small smile before he headed to the bus, softly saying his small ‘Thank you’ to him. It was… nice, hearing his voice. It was smooth, small, quiet but not too quiet. “I… I confessed.” He admitted, his therapist’s face contorting to a smile. “Really now? Do you mind going into detail?”  
  
“It was… stressful. I uhm… thought he’d reject me at first. He uhm… I’m… waiting. For him.”

Right.

Waiting for him.

**February 13**

“Do… you have any plans for today? Or tomorrow?”

Dimitri coughs awkwardly to himself as Claude meets eye contact with him, shrugging. “Ah,” Dimitri responds, “perhaps, uhm… w-we can try out a restaurant? I-If you’re free, of course. I… don’t want to bombard your schedule.” Claude looks down on his feet for a moment, pursing his lips. He then grabs his phone and starts typing, to which Dimitri assumes is his response. He feels a vibration from his bag, to which he assumes is his cellphone.

**_“I can try, I’ll tell you if I can’t. Perhaps tomorrow?”_ **

He nods at Claude with a smile, and Claude smiles back, his cheeks a bit puffed up from eating his croissant. The rest of the day was walking around the city, pointing at some buildings or things that they found interesting. They stopped for a snack from time to time, waiting silently as they both found comfort in the other’s presence. He shares some things about his personal life like his sister, how he used to be friends with Sylvain, the like. Dimitri smiles as Claude texted him facts, his opinion on certain things like the places they passed by or the food they ate while resting, the way his face lighted up whenever Dimitri encouraged it, telling him that he appreciated such.

He really did.

**@@@@**

“Thank you, uhm.. I…” Claude quietly said, looking at his side instead of Dimitri, they were now alone at the bus stop. Dimitri looks at him, though Claude doesn’t meet eye contact, still looking at his side. “I… ahem, sorry… just uh… thanks. I-I’m sure you had other plans, so you could always stop if you-” Dimitri puts his hand on Claude’s cheek out of impulse, he tried to pull away, but he sees Claude indulging in it, so he stops his attempt. “It’s… aha, it’s fine. I… I enjoy these meetings, it would be a shame if we stopped.” He let go, much to his dismay. As the bus came closer, Claude looked up at him with a smile, his teeth showing a little bit. “So, uh… we’re still going tomorrow?” Claude asked, dreading the bus coming closer. Dimitri nods, looking at Claude with a smile. “I suppose… I’ll see you tomorrow?” Dimitri asks, and he hears Claude laugh a bit, not trying to hold back. “Of course.” He said, and he waves goodbye at him as he enters the bus.

Dimitri smiles as the bus leaves, and he gets a text.

**_“I’m excited for tomorrow, hope I’m free. :)’_ **

**####**

He doesn’t remember what happened that night, he only remembers being jumped.

**February 14**

Claude was packing up his belongings to move out when he found out what happened to Dimitri.

Sylvain and Marie were out on a father-daughter day, Felix included, so he didn’t have the usual help he had on that day. Claude decided to text Dimitri, managing to find a window of time for that restaurant Dimitri wanted to visit with him.

**_“Hi. Free on 7-8, still game for that restaurant?”_ **

He hums as he puts his phone down, taping up a box that had his books inside, along with some other personal things such as a deer clip and a blanket. He thinks about the restaurant, the time they’ll have together, and how fun it’ll be. He’d like to see more of Dimitri’s smile, also his eyes. He really liked his eyes, they were very blue and pretty. Dimitri’s a very nice person, he thinks… he’ll enjoy it. His phone vibrates, and he picks it up.

**_“Who are you?”_ **

He frowned at Dimitri’s reply, about to text back. If this was a prank, he didn’t think it was funny, nor was it original.

**_“It’s me, Claude! Not much of a funny prank, Dima.”_ **

He stays silent, going back to his packing, he gets a reply immediately.

**_“I’m Dimitri’s sister, Edelgard. He talked about someone named Claude before, are you him?”_ **

His heart drops, and starts to pump faster than usual. He hesitates, worrying about the potential conversation.

_This is his sister…_

_Will she tell me to stay away?_

_I don’t want to, he’s one of the only people I have._

_I don’t want to lose him…_

**_“Yep. Why?”_ **

He wants to scream into a pillow, or anything. He knew he had to talk to her (and by talk, he means… any form of communication) sooner or later, but he didn’t expect _now_ of all times. He starts taking deep breaths, trying to regain his composure. He gets a reply a minute or so later.

**_“I’m with him at the hospital. He’s injured pretty badly, nothing life threatening. He’s resting, so visitations will be a bit later.”_ **

His heart sinks, and he wants to throw his phone at the wall and cry.

**@#@#**

He arrives at the hospital a bit late, only having gotten his location minutes before. He could tell Edelgard most likely didn’t trust him, he doesn’t really blame her. Claude’s composure grows less bit by bit by the second, he doesn’t know what to say, what does he even say? ‘I’m sorry your brother got hurt because of me’?

_Right, he got hurt because of Claude. Claude just had to talk to him that day._

The doors intimidate him as he’s about to enter, mocking, taunting, doing anything to degrade him. Reluctantly, he opens the door and looks around. As he looks around, he realizes _he doesn’t know what Edelgard looks like_. And it makes his skin crawl even more. Claude breathes heavily, remembering Dimitri’s words.

_White hair with lavender eyes, easy to spot._

The receptionist eyes him weirdly as they discuss visitation hours, well, more of she’s the one discussing. He’s just writing down his answers on the notepad they provided. “You only have one hour, use it wisely.” She said. He nods and signs out an **_“I’m sorry”_ **to her, to which she just hummed in response.

He walks in the cold hospital hallways to Dimitri’s room, it unsettles him so.

_Look at what you did._

_You don’t bring happiness to anyone._

_You’re nothing but rotten luck._

_If you hadn’t talked to him, he wouldn’t have gotten hurt._

_You never change, do you? You hadn’t changed a bit._

_How long will you go apologizing to everyone for existing? Talking?_

_You should’ve just died long ago-_

He reaches the room, and at the corner of his eye, he sees… white hair, and he assumes it’s Edelgard.

It _is_ Edelgard. She’d just exited the room, her visitation hours must’ve been over. His breath hitches for a moment, trying to find words that he wants to say.

_I’m sorry_

_It’s my fault_

_Hate me all you want_

“Are… Are you Claude?” She asks, his body jerked suddenly at her voice, not expecting it. They stand in silence for a moment, before he nods, she nods back. “I didn’t expect you to visit, I honestly thought you had plans.” She told him, responding by shaking his head, her mouth turning into an “o” shape for a moment. Edelgard sighs, looking directly at Claude. “You must really like him, don’t you?” She asks, catching him off guard, chuckling. “Of course you do… he speaks fondly of you as well.” His heart sinks, Dimitri was _fond_ of him. Did he ruin a perfectly good… friendship-possible-relationship? He signs out an **_“I’m sorry”_ ** to her, and she raises an eyebrow. “I… apologies, I don’t understand.” She says, tilting her head, and his heart starts pumping faster than usual. He opens his mouth, in an attempt to speak, but it won’t come out.

The words just _won’t come out_.

He swiftly grabs the notepad he got, and quickly scribbled out an **_“I’m sorry”_ **on it, giving her the paper. She reads it and her eyebrows furrow, looking at Claude. “What are you sorry for? There’s… There’s nothing to be sorry about.” He quickly grabs the pencil and notepad, only for Edelgard to gently make him stop. “I… don’t. Whatever it is, just… don’t,” she says, looking away for a second and going back, “you… you don’t need to apologize. At all. I don’t know whatever’s going through your mind, but…” she sighs, and gives him a small smile. “Never mind… you must be wanting to visit him, huh? Sorry for stalling, have a good day.”

She left.

**#@#@**

He helps unpeel Dimitri’s apple slices, hearing him say a “thank you” before digging in. Claude waits, waiting for Dimitri to dump him like a garbage bag.

But he doesn’t, and he doesn’t understand.

“My recovery will take a while,” Dimitri explains, sighing, “I’m sorry… I suppose our plan isn’t going to push through. Maybe we’ll go tomorrow or the day after if I manage to get out of the hospital. Sorry to have disappointed you…” he sighs once more, looking at Claude with a sympathetic look, and he wants to slam his head against the wall. He’s entirely convinced Dimitri’s staying with him out of pity at this point, yet a small part of him wishes that Dimitri genuinely wants to stay, and yet he can’t fully convince himself to think that.

Claude tries to speak, but Dimitri chuckles. “I.. aha, I should’ve been more careful. I apologize-”

“No!” Claude shouts suddenly, and Dimitri flinches a bit, his entire body is shaking, trying to muster up the courage to speak. “I- You-” he fumbles, gulping as Dimitri looks at him in shock. “I- It’s- no, it isn’t.. It isn’t your fault,” he explains, his hands shaking and fiddling, “I-If.. if only, I hadn’t talked to you… m-maybe you would’ve been okay. I-It’s my fault, I’m so sorry, don’t… don’t apologize for something I caused to happen. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry _I’m sorry_ **_I’m sorry-_ **”

“Claude, please, don’t apologize. It isn’t your fault- Claude? Are you okay? Cla _ude-_ “

It’s hard to breathe.

He can feel the sweat dripping from his forehead, his heart beating faster than it did before, his hands are numb, it’s cold and he’s shaking _so much no no please kill me alreadyImsorryImsorryImsorryIm-_

“Deep breaths, Claude, deep breaths.”

A voice says, he tries to but he _can't-_

“You can,” he looks up and he sees a gentle face, “just look at me and take deep breaths, you’re okay.”

He’s okay?

He’s okay

He hears gentle hushing, and he’s in his arms- Dimitri’s arms- Dimitri’s strong, _safe arms-_

“I-” he chokes out, still trying to speak, “I’m _sorry-_ ” tears start spilling out, and he’s pulled in closer. He sees his hand being intertwined with Dimitri’s, Dimitri’s safe and strong hand. “You’re okay…” Dimitri whispers into his ear. Claude’s tears still spill, curling up next to Dimitri. “I’m- I’m sorry, you’re supposed to be resting and I-”

He’s held tighter, Dimitri looks at him with sympathy. “Please, you should rest as well…” he chuckles, and Claude feels comfort and security when being engulfed in Dimitri’s body. “We, uhm… we can rest together, if… if that’s okay with you.” Dimitri offers.

Claude nods.

He doesn’t want to let go, not ever.

**Author's Note:**

> woo,,, i had to edit some parts aha. sorry if it’s inaccurate :’))


End file.
